40 OVER 40 Ngozi Fulani
#11
Ngozi Fulani
Founder and CEO of Sistah Space
Ngozi Fulaniby Jenny Smith
Introducing the wonderful change maker Ngozi Fulani.
Back in 2020 in the midst of lockdown I launched a project called Front Door Photo to raise money for victims of domestic violence. The topic has always been close to my heart ever since a friend took her own life following years of domestic abuse. As a result I have always kept a keen eye on the charities out there doing their bit to help women and children escape such horrors. This is where I first came across Ngozi Fulani and her charity Sistah Space who support victims of domestic abuse in the African and Caribbean community in the UK.
A shocking 86% of African and/or Caribbean heritage women living in the UK have either been a victim of domestic abuse or know a family member who has been assaulted. And yet there is no dedicated refuge for these women to go where their cultural differences will be recognised. Ngozi and Sistah Space are fundraising to correct this and you can donate to that campaign HERE.
I am so delighted that Ngozi agreed to be part of my 40 OVER 40 project. Please read what she has to say about her charity and what more needs to be done to support these women fleeing terrifying situations in their own homes.
Thank you Ngozi.
What is Sistah Space and why did you set it up?
Sistah Space is a charity dedicated to supporting African and Caribbean heritage women and girls affected by domestic and sexual abuse. I attended the court case of a woman called Valerie Forde and her 23-month-old daughter Real Jahzara (Baby RJ), who were tragically murdered by the ex-partner of Valerie in 2014. Valerie had reported her perpetrator Roland Mckoy’s threats of burning her and their children in their house to the police weeks before the murder took place. But the police had been utterly dismissive of the information she had given them of her perpetrator and without any follow up on the report, the threat had been negligently recorded as a threat to property rather than a threat to life.
This tragic event highlights the need for organisations like Sistah Space to continue to tackle the issues, injustices and mistreatments of African and Caribbean heritage women and girls experiencing domestic and sexual abuse.
Tell me about your PHD and why you’re doing it
The PhD research is the study of Valerie's Law and looks at the barriers to black women reporting abuse. Valerie’s Law aims to provide mandatory training for the police and other government agencies to have basic knowledge on how to support a black woman affected by domestic and sexual abuse as we have not been given the same consideration and support as other races. As with every culture, the black community has a plethora of colloquialisms, languages and customs within itself that have to be acknowledged and understood in mainstream institutions to better protect black women fleeing violence. Without a basic understanding of these cultural differences it's impossible for police officers and service providers to make sure black women are equally protected in the UK.
Tell us about the shelter you’re raising money for. Why is it important for women of African heritage to have their own shelter?
The campaign for a refuge for black women has been going for over five years. There are no safe spaces for black women specifically (Not BAME) run by and for domestic abuse survivors. We often experience stereotypes which impacts us and our ability to access services and support negatively. We are often asked to show our bruises when we report abuse, but it is important to remember that there is always bruising, however, it is not always physical. At Sistah Space we make sure that cultural factors are really understood. Sadly there are many cultural barriers and biases in existence and we make sure to remove those so that every person who walks through our door is given equal support.
The police often use white-british standards to risk assess black women in violent situations. Bruises on black skin are not as visible as on white skin and the police need to be educated in this very simple thing.
How can people get involved with Sister Space?
You can get involved with Sistah Space in a number of ways. Volunteering, donating (financially or donations of brand new items for our shop) by attending Valerie's Law training, by promoting the work we do. The list is endless.
Describe yourself in three words.
Wakanda, Women Kings
Thank you so much Ngozi for being part of my 40 OVER 40 project. You are a living legend, making a difference every single day to so many.
I think it's fair to say that our hormones have affected us all at some time in our lives be it puberty, PMT, pregnancy or the menopause. If that's you then check out my podcast, Dear Hormones, hopefully it'll make you smile. You can listen to it here.
40 OVER 40 Sue Kent
#10
Sue Kent
TV Presenter, Gardener and Public Speaker
Sue Kentby Jenny Smith
Introducing the formidable, joyous and all round amazing human, Sue Kent. Sue is a recent addition to the Gardeners World line up having made her debut during the pandemic when viewers were asked to send in footage of their garden. She was an instant hit and has been a regular ever since.
Sue has an upper limb disability due to the Thalidomide scandal in the 1950s and 60s where hundreds of babies were born with limb defects after their mothers were prescribed the drug to help with morning sickness. However, her disability has not prevented Sue from absolutely thriving both in her career and personal life. She worked as a massage therapist for many years after devising a unique treatment using her feet, is a passionate gardener and is now enjoying a brand new career on the telly. She's happily married and has four beautiful grandchildren. I hope I look this good when I'm a grandma!
She was recently asked to design a garden for Hampton Court Palace where she won a silver-gilt medal for her beautiful and accessible design, using planting that could be touched and tended to with her feet and one that didn't require any heavy gardening tools. She is passionate about making gardening accessible to all and is a firm believer in the health benefits of the great outdoors. You'll find her most days swimming in the sea near her home in South Wales.
I'm so pleased that Sue agreed to being part of my 40 OVER 40 project. Her zest for life is contagious and her can-do attitude is a lesson to us all.
Sue Kent by Jenny Smith
How does it feel now that your career has taken off in an unexpected direction with Gardeners World? How did that job come about?
I’ve got my job at BBC Gardeners World when, during the lockdown, the program asked for viewers to send in a film of their own garden. I sent in a short video about my vegetable garden and it went from there.
I am hugely enjoying learning new skills, meeting new people and broadening my gardening knowledge.
You were kind enough to share a poem that you’ve written about your mother and your disability - can you tell me more about the background to that poem? What is your relationship like now with your disability compared to growing up?
The tragedy of Thalidomide affected well over 500 children in the UK. I was born with 8 inch arms and seven fingers. Our physical differences were a shock to society and people shied away from us. Going out in public, our parents often had to deal with negative personal comments about the children they loved.. The general attitude among those trying to guide and support at that time was to try and hide the disability and make us look as normal as possible to fit in. My mother loved shopping for clothes with me and always encouraged me to wear sleeves as my arms were unattractive. She wanted me to make the best impression and thereby increase my opportunities.
I still feel my arms are the least attractive part of me but when it gets hot, practicality wins out, and I now will wear a sleeveless dress.
Sue's Poem:
New Dress
My mum would always tell me
to hide my arms
their ugly charms
they would offend
the world would end
She is dead now
I bought a new dress
completely sleeveless
No one's confessed
they are under impressed
I don't care if they are
it's cooler by far
Sue Kent by Jenny Smith
What do you know now that you wish you could tell your younger self?
The good people in the world have open minds and true hearts.
Has being a grandma changed you or your outlook on life in any way?
Becoming a grandma has been quite difficult. I am able to give very little practical help when my grandchildren are at the baby stage. I feel inadequate, something I hate. It’s the same feeling when I could not nurse my parents at the end of their lives. It’s the one thing that makes me feel a victim; it’s the one thing that makes me feel sorry for myself. The men who made and marketed Thalidomide, when they knew it was dangerous, are dead and were not held to account. The recent Sackler opioid scandal illustrates again the true cost of medical corruption.
How have public perceptions changed in your lifetime towards people with disabilities?
It’s a slow process. The Disability Discrimination Act had to force people to change. Finally the media is starting to reflect the diverse society we live in. This does help to educate and promote understanding and change attitudes.
What more can be done to help in this area?
More needs to be done in education, planning and design to enable the fostering and promotion of talent and ability for people with disabilities. Being allowed to make a contribution to public life may further alter public perceptions. There is still a long way to go.
Sue Kentby Jenny Smith
How do you feel about the ageing process?
I do hate looking in the mirror and seeing my skin falling off my face and gathering at the bottom around my jawline. Apart from that visual, the lack of energy sometimes, and the insomnia, I like the changes that age brings. At around 50 I watched a film called Advanced Style, it made me realise I have a choice as to how I live, there is a lot of potential in life after 50 and I am open to the possibilities that it has to offer, it’s all very exciting.
What’s the best thing about being older?
Nowadays the news presents everything as a crisis, it's a very blame culture. This is not for me and I realise I can disengage and life still goes on.
My podcast allows women to share stories about things they may have said or done when their hormones have been in play, such as the menopause. How did you find this time in your life? Any stories you can share?
None. Menopause is another phase of life. I’m not interested in putting it off with drugs. I changed my diet and my exercise routine and worked my way through it. Not having to deal with periods was such a plus everything else was comparatively a walk in the park, as long as I can remember where I put my glasses...
Sue Kentby Jenny Smith
Tell us about the therapy you devised using your feet.
I wanted to work practically and 15 years ago I developed a technique massaging with feet, I became the first person in the country if not the world to get a sports massage diploma using feet and I really enjoyed my 15 year career being able to help people. One of the highlights was working as a volunteer at the medical centre in the Paralympics village in 2012.
Anything else you’d like to share?
Helping people to reach their potential is the way forward.
A great friend of mine with similar disabilities once told me, as I was moaning that I couldn’t surf with my son, “concentrate on what you can do not on what you can’t”. The best advice.
Sue Kentby Jenny Smith
Thank you Sue for being part of this project, you're an inspiration!
I think it's fair to say that our hormones have affected us all at some time in our lives be it puberty, PMT, pregnancy or the menopause. If that's you then check out my podcast, Dear Hormones, hopefully it'll make you smile. You can listen to it here.
40 OVER 40 Tracy Brabin
#9
Tracy Brabin
Mayor of West Yorkshire
Tracy BrabinBy Jenny Smith
This is Tracy Brabin, Mayor of West Yorkshire. And what a woman she is too.
I've had the pleasure of knowing Tracy for many years now and she was one of the first women I considered when I had the idea for this project - she was also the first one that I photographed. She's been the Mayor of West Yorkshire since 2021 but before she that was elected Labour MP for Batley and Spen following the harrowing murder of her predecessor, Jo Cox. One of the things I especially admire is that the safety of women and girls is high on Tracy's political agenda. She's spoken openly and honestly about an attempted rape by a complete stranger that she endured at university and this has been the driving force behind her commitment to improve the safety of all women and girls.
Before entering politics Tracy was a TV writer and actress, staring as Tricia Armstrong in Coronation Street for many years. But like so many women featured in this project, Tracy had a complete career change later in life and has never looked back. She was 55 when she became an MP and 60 when she won the race for mayor (I know, it's impossible to believe that she's anywhere near that age) and is one of the most positive and inspiring humans on the planet.
I happened to be in Leeds one day for work and asked if I could pop in and take some shots of her whilst I was there. As you can imagine, being the Mayor of West Yorkshire keeps you pretty busy and Tracy could only spare a matter of minutes for the photos. I'm so delighted with what we managed to get in such a short amount of time, she's a complete natural in front of the camera.
Thanks Tracy for being part of this campaign and for proving to us all that anything is possible at any time in our lives.
Tell us why you decided to make the leap from acting to politics.
It wasn’t a decision I was expecting to take. I’d been campaigning with the brilliant Labour candidate Jo Cox and got to know her. After she was killed we were all in shock and at the funeral I said to one of her friends ‘what can I do?’ and she said ‘ do you want to be an MP?’ and it suddenly fell into place that this was something I should do. Batley and Spen is where I was born and raised and this outrageous act could not be allowed to divide us. Her killer took so much; we needed to stand tall to call it out
Tracy Brabin by Jenny SmithTracy Brabin by Jenny Smith
As a women who changed careers after the age of 40, can you give any advice to others wanting to do the same?
The things you regret in life are the things you don’t do. If the door is open walk through it.
In lockdown I raised over £21,000 for for domestic violence charity, Refuge, by photographing people at their front doors. You very kindly took part in that. I know that the safety of women and girls is a big issue for you having spoken openly about a harrowing attack you suffered in your 20s. What can you tell us about your plans in this area?
We've brought in significant levels of extra funding and have launched new campaigns and initiatives. I pledged to put ‘keeping women and girls safe’ at the heart of my police and crime plan and I have done so. It features as a cross cutting theme in everything we do. Since becoming Mayor I have directed significant resources towards this issue with millions in additional funding coming into West Yorkshire to support victims and survivors of domestic abuse and sexual violence. Significantly, I have worked with West Yorkshire Police to recognise misogyny within hate crime reporting. Although it is not yet legally classed as a crime, this approach enables us to monitor trends and inform our response.
We were also successful with a bid for £655,000 in funding from the Home Office’s Safer Streets Fund to promote the safety and use of parks by women and girls. Likewise, we have worked with Higher Education / Further Education establishments to support women’s safety and generate behaviour change in men. I also launched a stalking awareness campaign with West Yorkshire Police and local safeguarding partners. This aims to raise awareness of what stalking is, that it is a crime, and how those affected can seek help and support. Many grant bids to my ‘Mayor’s Safer Communities Fund’ have also focused upon Safety for Women and Girls. This takes ill-gotten gains from criminals and diverts it to our local communities, on focused themes. In recent weeks, I’ve hosted an event to progress the West Yorkshire Safety of Women and Girls Strategy. This follows substantial consultation with members of the public and partners.
Tracy Brabin by Jenny SmithTracy with her family taking part in the Front Door Photo project which raised money for domestic violence charity, Refuge.
You made the headlines after the strap of your dress fell over your shoulder in the House of Commons. How did that make you feel?
I received a barrage of tweets calling me a slag, hungover, a tart, about to breastfeed, a slapper, a drunk and that it looked like I'd been taken from behind over a wheelie bin. The fact is I leaned on the dispatch box due to a broken ankle and the strap slipped off my shoulder. I was proud that I was able to turn around an horrific situation to do good. We auctioned that dress and raised £20,000 which benefitted the Girl Guides and the work they do giving young women confidence in their bodies.
Tracy Brabinby Jenny Smith
What has been your greatest achievement at work?
There is more to come but reducing bus fares to £2 was a recent highlight.
As a woman how have you found the political arena and has your age helped in this?
Yes. I'm wiser and less hung up about what people think about me.
The menopause is a huge issue for so many women who struggle with symptoms and most companies still don’t acknowledge this. Is there more that politicians should be doing to address this?
No doubt about it and I celebrate all the recent campaigning on this. We are still capable people as we go through the menopause and companies must acknowledge the challenges we face.
I do a podcast where women fess up to some of the things they might have said or done whilst feeling hormonal. Anything you’d like to share?
I was furious for about two years and didn’t care less what people thought!
Tracy BrabinBy Jenny Smith
I bumped into you one day during covid and you were sitting with your daughter making a list of things to be thankful for. It’s really stuck with me. Do you do this often and what other things do you find helps to put things into perspective?
Not that often but I’ve always said a moment for gratitude before bed is helpful for wellbeing. With so much pain across the world we have so much to be grateful for.
What piece of advice would you give your younger self?
Your class and lived experience is your super power.
So many women are worried about the ageing process. How do you feel about it?
I’ve grown into my skin and I'm just grateful my body works as well as it does because I know it won't always be like this.
What empowers you?
A sense of fairness.
Thank you Tracy for being one of my 40!
I think it's fair to say that our hormones have affected us all at some time in our lives be it puberty, PMT, pregnancy or the menopause. If that's you then check out my podcast, Dear Hormones, hopefully it'll make you smile. You can listen to it here.
40 OVER 40 Liz O'Riordan
#8
Liz O'Riordan
Just look at this woman! As a photographer, when someone pulls an outfit like this out of the wardrobe, you just know you're in for a good session. Oh, and she makes her own clothes too!
I first came across Liz O'Riordan when my friend, a breast cancer thriver, told me how much Liz's instagram feed had helped her through her diagnosis and treatment. When I started reading more about Liz, I realised that she represents everything this project all about. Women over 40 absolutely smashing it no matter what.
Liz was a breast cancer surgeon who, in 2015, was diagnosed with breast cancer herself. Gruelling chemotherapy and radiotherapy followed as well as a mastectomy and implant reconstruction. The treatment plunged her into an instant menopause. For the next 3 years, whilst still working as a breast cancer surgeon, Liz threw herself into exercise and even did a small triathlon half way through chemo!
During this time she did a Tedx talk about what it's like being on the other side of the operating table and has since then has dedicated her life to improving the quality of cancer care.
In 2018 her cancer came back forcing her to leave the job that she loved. But this hasn't stopped her banging the drum for better cancer care, speaking openly and honestly about everything she's faced helping thousands of other women along the way. Her instagram feed is full of honest conversation and advice about breast cancer, the menopause and her struggles with depression.
She is an avid cyclist, has done a half ironman, fundraised for Breast Cancer Care and is an ambassador for Working with Cancer. Oh and she's just written a book which you can pre-order here. She's a machine and I'm over the moon that she agreed to be part of this project.
Thank you Liz.
You are an inspiration to so many women with your open and honest approach and I know your instagram feed helps so many others going through cancer treatment. But where do YOU get your strength from? Who or what helps you?
That’s a tough one! I have no idea where the inner strength has come from that has enabled me to cope with everything life has thrown at me. Looking back, I had no choice but to cope, but now, talking and writing about it – I can see that I’m a much stronger person than I ever was. I guess it all comes down to my desire to help people. I couldn’t do what I do without my husband behind me. He’s been with me every step of the way, and although we still drive each other mad at times, that love and support gives me the courage to do what I do.
Age is a privilege of course and this is never more true than to someone who has undergone cancer treatment, but have you ever had any anxiety over the ageing process and pressure to look a certain way as a woman?
Definitely. I think it started back in school when I was one of the last in the class to develop breasts. That fear of being left behind and looking different from your peers was awful. I spent most of my twenties with my head in a glossy magazine, beating myself up because I didn’t look like the models on the page – forgetting that I was working 100 hour weeks training to be a surgeon. After finishing treatment for breast cancer I had to reinvent myself in my 40s. My long hair was now a grey frizzy crop, I had a hard implant for a breast, my eyebrows had forgotten where they were meant to grow and I had no idea what to wear without looking like my niece or my mum. I also had to find a new colour palette as the grey hair changed my complexion and all my dark red lipsticks looked awful. Now I think that style is something that grows on you. I buy (and make) what I want and ignore what the latest fashion trends are.
We often get asked through our podcast about menopausal treatment for women who have had breast cancer. Can you give any advice on what has worked for you?
The menopause is worse after cancer treatment as it’s instant, and often many years before the natural time. I woke up thinking I’d wet myself when in fact it was a night sweat. His and Hers duvets are essential, especially in the summer, so I can throw the covers off without freezing my husband. Preservative free lubricants like Yes and Sutil are a must, along with vaginal oestrogen – which does not increase the risk of recurrence. I use an antidepressant called Citalopram which works to reduce hot flushes. And the basics – exercise and getting a good night’s sleep.
If you could go back and give your teenage self some advice, what would you say?
I don’t think I would listen to anything I’d have to say – but it would be this – You are stronger than you know. Keep believing in your dreams.
Your diagnosis took you in a totally unexpected direction, forcing you to change your life and career. What advice would you give to other women who are suddenly faced with life changing situations outside of their control?
Give yourself time for the reality to sink in, and grieve for what you have lost.
Be practical – write down all your responsibilities - financial, family etc. That helped me to see how much money I needed to earn when deciding what to do next. Try not to make any rash decisions in the impulse of the moment. I have a notebook I write all my thoughts and ideas down in so I can come back to them later when I’m feeling more rational.
It may feel like the end of the world, but it’s not. I read a great book that said – think of any stressful situation as a plot twist in the story of your life. No-one knows what the ending is yet. It’s up to you.
So many women seem to dread turning 40, dread the menopause and dread looking old (thanks to a lifetime of being told we need to look and act a certain way). What are your thoughts on that?
Turning forty was mentally hard – especially as my brother sent me a card congratulating me for being halfway to eighty… But I actually had a great year. I was the fittest I’d ever been after cycling up the Stelvio in Italy. I’d worked out what my work uniform was (maxi dresses and heels), I had a few very close friends and thought I was finally ready to be an adult.
And then I got cancer and my life was thrown upside down. Now I find it hard to believe I’m nearly fifty. What does fifty look like in the mirror anyway? It’s so refreshing to see social media filling up with photos and articles of stylish, older women who are having fun with how they look and enjoying getting older (dis)gracefully. And now I’m grateful for every year that I have.
Final words of advice?
Wear the shoes. Wear the jewellery. Don’t save your clothes for special occasions. Make every day special.
Thank you Liz!
I think it's fair to say that our hormones have affected us all at some time in our lives be it puberty, PMT, pregnancy or the menopause. If that's you then check out my podcast, Dear Hormones, hopefully it'll make you smile. You can listen to it here.
40 OVER 40 Diane Danzebrink
#7
Diane Danzebrink
Diane Danzebrinkby Jenny Smith
Let me introduce you to Diane Danzebrink, a woman on a mission to help women understand and manage their menopause in an affordable and accessible way after suffering a terrible time with it herself.
I spent a lovely morning with Diane, chatting about her wonderful business and the Make Menopause Matter campaign, which she spearheaded, and has helped to get the menopause on the political agenda. She's an absolute powerhouse and I drove home feeling utterly inspired. When I first had the idea to do the 40 OVER 40 project, I scribbled down a few key names that I wanted to feature and Diane was of course one of them.
Whilst this project is celebrating incredible women from all walks of life who have done all kinds of wonderful things, menopause awareness is going to feature quite heavily and this is largely down to my own horrendous experience when the menopause hit. I really want to do my own bit in raising awareness so that other women don't suffer like I did (it's also the reason for starting my podcast) and in this way Diane and I share the same goal. It's just that she's managed to do it on a national scale!
As if that wasn't reason enough to love her, she also rescues dogs and currently looks after two adorable Jack Russells by the names of Kevin and Poppy. I know it's not nice to have favourites, but if there had been a way to sneak Kevin out in my bag then I would have done so.
Here Diane answers a few questions and offers up some words of wisdom. Thanks again Diane for being part of my 40 OVER 40 campaign.
What led you to setting up your community interest company Menopause Support and can you explain a bit more about the Make Menopause Matter campaign?
Surgical menopause hit me like a ton of bricks and had a significant effect on my mental health which led me to a very dark place in my life. That happened because I wasn’t given the right information about menopause before or after my surgery. I was very fortunate to have a supportive husband, who got me the help that I needed at crisis point, and the ability to seek private medical care when I needed it. Once I started to feel better, initially I was relieved, but that was replaced by anger and frustration when I realised just how many other women were suffering in silence due to a lack of menopause education and information for healthcare professionals and the public. What happened to those who didn't have support or the option to seek private care? I remember telling my husband how ridiculous the situation was and promised myself that if I ever felt like me again I would make damn sure that I did something to change it.
I set up Menopause Support to offer free support and guidance via our online community group, which now supports around 27,000 women and free information resources via our website. We offer a more affordable private 1-1 consultation option with concessions for anyone experiencing financial hardship. These can include a letter to the doctor to support the patient's choice if required. We now also offer educational presentations and webinars for the workplace too.
The #MakeMenopauseMatter campaign was started out of frustration. I was so frustrated hearing about awful experiences from women who were struggling due to a lack of information, education, care and support that I decided we needed a national campaign. The campaign has 3 very clear aims.
1. To have mandatory menopause education for all GPs and medical students.
2. To have menopause guidance and support in every workplace.
3. For menopause to be included in the RSE curriculum in schools.
I am delighted to say that we now have over 170,000 signatures on the petition and menopause is the focus of a government taskforce. We have already acheived having menopause added to the school curriculum in England but there is still so much work to do.
Diane Danzebrinkby Jenny Smith
Many women are sceptical/wary about taking HRT still, what more can be done to change perceptions?
One of the things that I have called for many times is a government funded public health campaign dedicated to menopause which would include awareness being raised via the media, on the sides of buses and on tubes and trains plus information being sent to everybody who will expereince menopause before it comes along. There would also be information booklets in GP practices and other healthcare settings. Having up to date factual, evidence based information would help to address the misinformation and myths that have grown up about menopause and HRT.
What has the menopause meant to you?
Menopause has meant a complete transformation of my life, from the pits of despair to becoming a passionate activist, campaigner, speaker and educator who will not be satisfied until good quality menopause care is available to all at the point of need without having to pay privately for it. My menopause expereince has prompted me to use my voice to call for much needed change where it is so obviously needed and to encourage others to do the same.
How do you feel about getting older?
It might sound trite but I think it's a privilege to get older as it is denied to many. Getting older has made me value my time and be more selective about what I do with it and who I spend it with. I am now the most confident that I have ever been, I could never have imagined standing up in front of a room full of people or speaking publicly on TV but I have developed new found courage of my own convictions and value the wisdom of my experiences more than I ever have. Getting older has also taught me the very valuable power of the word no, often accompanied by thankyou, as a complete sentence.
Diane Danzebrinkby Jenny Smith
What advice would you give to your teenage self?
It's ok to be you, don't compare yourself to others, we are all unique, celebrate that. You can make a difference in the world.
What menopause myths have you heard?
Probably too many to mention but the most common are;
You are too young for menopause, if under the age of about 50
It can't be menopause, you are still having periods
It can't be menopause if you are not having hot flushes
You can't have HRT until your periods have stopped
All incorrect.
Any words of wisdom for other women our age nervous about entering their menopausal years?
Do your homework, learn as much as you can about menopause before it comes along. This will help to demystify menopause and will allow you to make informed decisions about your own menopause transition and long term health and wellbeing.
Talk about it with anyone who will listen. Educate your family, friends, colleagues etc, the more we share the more understanding we help to create.
Be kind to yourself. We often spend our lives focusing on others at the detriment of our own wellbeing, menopause is a time when your body is calling you to be kinder to yourself, don't ignore the call, it will only get louder.
Anything else you would like to say about the joys of being over 40?
Absolutely, menopause has been, and to some extent continues to be, surrounded by a negative narative. When you are struggling to get the right help and support that is completely understandable however, it can also be a time of opportunity. If somebody had used the word opportunity to me at the bottom of my menopausal pit I would probably have punched them, if I could have found the energy, but I promise that with the right education, information, guidance and support an opportunity is exactly what it is. There is an opportunity to pause and reflect, to consider how we are looking after ourselves and to consider the future and what you want it to be. It might be a time to reconnect with things you used to love to do but have not had time for or it might be a time for new passions and purpose, you might even find yourself leading a national campaign!
My podcast, Dear Hormones, shares stories from women fessing up to things they may have said or done in the name of hormones. Anything you’d like to share??
As an example of just how wildly my mood could swing I clearly remember asking my husband if he would like a slice of the birthday cake that I had proudly baked for him (I am not a regular cook) As I took the cake out of the fridge the plate slipped out of my hand and crashed to the floor smashing it and the beautiful birthday cake into many pieces. I am not proud to say that I screamed the house down. Completely out of character for me and a clear indication of just how irrational I could be at the flick of a switch. I am pleased to say that normal service has since resumed!
Thank you Diane for everything you're doing to support women in perimenopause and menopause, and for doing it all with a sense of humour. You are an inspiration, proof that being 'of a certain age' is a privilege and an opportunity. My kind of woman! Please check out her website here.
Diane Danzebrinkby Jenny Smith
I think it's fair to say that our hormones have affected us all at some time in our lives be it puberty, PMT, pregnancy or the menopause. If that's you then check out my podcast, Dear Hormones, hopefully it'll make you smile. You can listen to it here.